Pathology of Life (part 2 of 2)

well·ness

noun \ˈwel-nəs\

: the quality or state of being healthy

"Wellness." Merriam-Webster.com. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wellness

The lifelong pursuit of wellness can feel futile under the wrong expectations. Without the proper understanding of your own faults, the needs of your community, and the surest plan of deliverance, you will feel crushed under the weight. In this introductory discussion of mental health and wellness, let us explore its relevancy in your daily life. 

1. Explain Yourself

One stage in the process of better understanding your goals for mental health is to acknowledge your needs. Choosing a relatively private platform (avoid the trappings of drama) - such as a confidant, counselor, or in prayer - write out an exhaustive list of your needs. This is not a list of demands, and this is not to be handed to someone with expectations of fulfillment. This exercise is for the sole purpose of you getting to know yourself. You are needy. If you do this right, you will walk away with a better understanding of the weight of your burdens. It is too much for any one person to bear. Relief from your needs will be accomplished eventually (more on that in a few minutes), but help in the meantime is always an option. Do not cease your efforts to make peace, to forgive, and to build up.

2. Walk a Mile

If you find yourself in conflict with another person - a spouse, sibling, parent, friend - take an evening to think about them. Only them, and their story. You may not know much about them, or you may know everything. Whatever you do know, use that knowledge to imagine yourself in their place and relive their story. Once you've spent some time walking the proverbial mile in their shoes, try to write a list of needs for them. What do they need? Do not suppose that these are needs that you or any other person can fulfill, but this list begins the process of necessary empathy - the ability to share someone else's feelings. To share a joy or sorrow is to invest in a partnership, to commit to sharpening and being sharpened by another. This is often the first step to conflict resolution.

3. The Meaning of Life

Once upon a time there was a man, and then a woman, and they lived in the land of fearless love and endless time. They chose to go a separate way and we have been suffering the consequences ever since. God describes sin as both choices we make (or have made), and choices that others have made which now rain their consequences down on us. The reason it is futile to argue against the accusation of sin in your life is because it is woven into the thread of our history, our present, and our future. From our ancestors to our progeny, the effects of sin are as inescapable as are the molecules of air that we share and recycle. Errors, choices, and mischievous ways work their way through the lives of not only ourselves, but our neighbors, our children, our children's children, ad infinitum. Stop spending your time finding blame for your sorrows or the sorrows of those you love, acknowledge the pain they cause, and focus your attention on the only saving hope this world knows. The God of the Bible has written a story and instructed us to share it with each other. It begins with a man and a woman, living in perfect health. It moves through their decline, their heartache, their needs, and their story - intertwined through generations - and ends with a dramatic rescue. A feat which requires superhuman strength, consummated by an otherworldly being, able to heal all of mankind (past and present) and satisfy the deepest longings for love without fear and death.

As my children have been taught to say, when they are working together after a day's worth of messes, spills, and creativity gone awry, "many hands make light work!" We use each other to shoulder burdens, to share the weight of sorrows and joy, and to be reminded of our need. How will you put your hands (needy as they may be) to work today?