"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
~Aristotle~
It is remarkable how wide and long the trail of failed New Year's resolutions spans. When it comes to forming new habits, it seems to most of us there is an invisible wall we almost always hit. The same often goes for breaking old habits - in order to stop an automatic action, it really, really, really, really, really helps to have a replacement action on hand. If that is news to you, you're welcome.
What is a habit, exactly?
A habit is an action that is committed without much thought, intention, or effort. At the core of habitual actions is automaticity, or "the ability to do things without occupying the mind with the low-level details required.... It is usually the result of learning, repetition, and practice."
Why bother?
Is there any benefit to habits? Why do we bother with all this effort? If there is one factor that can be categorized as the primary deterrent for improvements to personal health, relationships, productivity, etc., it might simply be: PAIN. It is a pain to eat something you don't like, simply because it is good for you. It is a pain to work an argument through to peaceful resolution. It is a pain to lose weight, to improve your handwriting, to go to bed earlier, to start cooking. It is a pain to work against what you automatically know.... until... until it is no longer a pain. Therein lies the beauty of our ability to form a new habit. Once you go from intentional effort to habit, the pain ceases. It is no longer hard work, but rather, something that happens naturally.
How long should I expect to suffer?
While it is easy to daydream about the rewards at the end of the journey, it is often while caught in the thorn bushes along the path that we lose hope. Studies indicate that it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. When you consider outlying factors, such as chemical addiction, blood sugar balance, co-dependent relationships, etc., many experts say we should realistically allow two to eight months before the painful change becomes the happy norm. Two to eight MONTHS before you stop complaining and start enjoying. Those actions, done over and over and over and over and over again, that feel so uncool, so not right, achy, out of joint, sometimes hopeful then the next day hopeless - those actions are all building toward your goal.
My wagon has a broken latch.
Guess what? You know those times you fall off the wagon and feel defeated because you lapsed, slept in, ate a bite (or a bag)? They are all part of the work. They don't discredit the efforts you put forth before the slip. Research shows they have little to no effect on the eventual goal you may still reach (assuming you climb back up on that wagon and get back to work). So stop the pity party, remove your hand from the big red button, and take the next step forward. You can still do this!
Reality is a good thing.
Now that you have set aside your daydreams of three easy steps to a better you and learned that it is possible despite what lies your past failures have whispered, think again about that new habit you'd like to form. Or that old one you could stand to break. Consider how much time and effort it has taken to get to where you are now (and how successful you really are at habit-forming!). You have done it before, and you can do it again. Even if a current bad habit has been controlling your life for years, it will still take ONLY two to eight months to form a new one in its place.
This. Is. Hope.
